; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Randomize