we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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