Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
