Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
