I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
