My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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