i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
