ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
