is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
