So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
