i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
