and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
