New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
