i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
