Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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