i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize