At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
