well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize