Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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