so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
