After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
