no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
