garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
