At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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