It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
