idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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