I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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