Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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