I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize