You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
