We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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