Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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