maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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