If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
