All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
