Dude my mom stole all your condoms
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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