The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
