What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
