Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
