Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
