hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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