Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize