Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
