You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
