So drunk its hurt
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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