they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she peed on how many people?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
