Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
