it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
