I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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