Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
