I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
