did you get engaged???
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
