I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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