Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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