I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
