I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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