Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
