THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
