you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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