Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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