Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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