i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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