Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
