i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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