oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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