Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
