Me. At least after what I've been through.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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