It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
