I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
