Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
