Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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