I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
