Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize