it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
