Have you finally orgasmed yet?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
