I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
