how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
