theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
