I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
