Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
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